Andrew Chivers is 24 years old and in recovery from fentanyl addiction.

 

He was 19 when he unknowingly took fentanyl for the first time. He was under the impression that what he was taking was OxyContin, and didn’t think much else of it until people around him, who were also using the drug, started dying.

 

He says that by that point, he was in too deep and hadn’t gone a day without the drug in months.

 

He had no idea what he was in store for him.

 

“I wanted to quit but I was scared to even try at that point. I just kept using.”

 

Up until then he had a pretty typical experience with recreational drugs. However, he had been battling with depression and says that when he found fentanyl, it took away all of his negative feelings.

 

He says it was like, “happiness in a pill.”

 

“It just numbed everything. I stayed in this vegetative state for five years.After that and didn't grow [as a person],” says Andrew. “I had no concept of what happiness was for five years. I totally lost myself.”

 

Andrew tried many times to get clean, but it wasn’t until he ended up in jail that he became much more serious about it.

 

“Jail that was the biggest eye opener for me because I really like being free. I like traveling. That was the worst possible scenario for me. That was worse than dying, ending up in jail,” he says.

 

GETTING SOBER

 

Jail was the final straw for Andrew, and he was convinced to go into treatment. He started attending Fresh Start Recovery, a 12-step program for men struggling with addiction.

 

Although he found the program helpful, Andrew relapsed a couple of times. Sobriety was far from easy, even with the help of experts.

 

He says that his latest attempt at staying sober has been successful because he decided to do it for himself, instead of for others. He says that in the past, he would relapse because he was only getting sober for his friends and family.

 

He used what he learned from treatment and went cold turkey despite the excruciating withdrawals.

 

“The bones in my legs felt like they were burning, you kind of go into a psychosis, [and then] this really depressive state. You almost lose [your] concept of reality because you are so sick,” says Andrew, “The only thing that makes it go away is using more of the drug.”

 

He says he didn’t have a lot of support through this time.

 

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NO SUPPORT, NO PROBLEM

 

Stacey Petersen, executive director at Fresh Start Recovery says he has seen all levels of support throughout his career in addictions treatment, ranging from “no support whatsoever,” to “constant support.”

 

He says that while family support can be helpful throughout the recovery process, it is not necessary and that those without it can find a “surrogate family” through their journey to recovery.

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“What you want is people in your life that are going to care for you, love you, and support you no matter what, and not just when it is convenient,” says Stacey.

 

He says that for those who have their families involved in their lives, that the inclusion of families into the recovery process is a key step.

 

“Addiction is an illness that affects all parts of a family and that families need to understand that they are not at fault for their loved ones addiction,” he says.

 

“It’s simply about setting boundaries, because you have become sick as a result of your loved one’s addiction. Funny enough when the families start to build boundaries around their lives, their loved one often starts to follow suit and starts to inquire about getting help.”

 

STIGMA REMAINS

 

Stacey says that the number one thing preventing people from seeking help is fear, and that an overwhelming amount of people don’t access help because they are afraid of the stigma.

 

“What I would say to somebody [struggling with addiction] is look, you don't have to be afraid, it’s okay, you’re not alone, there’s so many people一 24 million people afflicted in North America. Do you think you’re alone? But our heads tell us we are,” says Stacey.

 

Stigma doesn’t end when recovery begins either.

 

Andrew says that stigma surrounding his addiction, and the time he spent in jail continues to affect his life, from being denied jobs to being looked down upon by people within his community.

 

He thinks that for others to truly understand the perils of addiction, they would have to go through it themselves, and Andrew implores others to put themselves in someone else’s shoes.

 

“People take a look at other people’s lives and they only think about how they would react. They don't think about how that other person would react and what they've gone through, they think ‘oh if I was doing drugs I would just go into treatment and get clean.’ It’s not that easy.”

 

Although the negative stigma surrounding addiction is far from being gone, at Fresh Start Recovery, Stacey has a positive outlook on where we are headed as a society when it comes to discussing stigma.

 

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Stacey says that those struggling with addiction are some of the “most intelligent, creative, wonderful human beings,” he has ever met and that as a society we need to stop viewing addiction as a “moral failing.”

 

“Don't say ‘Why the addiction?’ but ‘Why the trauma?’ When people come in here we want to say to them, not ‘What’s wrong with you?’ but ‘What happened to you?’”

 

“I think that there is a whole generation of traumatized people out there, making them far more susceptible to addiction.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Andrew continues to face struggles in regards to his recovery, and feels as though he will for the rest of his life.

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"Even smoking cigarettes was a trigger for me because I was used to doing my drug and then smoking a cigarette after, so I had to quit smoking."

 

Despite the everyday battle, Andrew continues to be hopeful that he can maintain his recovery. 

 

“I am reminding myself everyday that if I go back to that, I will die or end up in jail and I don’t want that."

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